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What, you think a writer's blog should include WORDS? Picky, picky.I haven't been writing publicly much because what to say? The question I've mostly had from friends and family members is How are you doing? And the answer is it's complicated.Elan has a book that I love reading him called My Many-Colored Days. It's all about moods, very appropriate for a toddler. Some days we feel "happy pink. It's great to jump and just not think." But then there are the brown days, the purple days, and, of course, the black days: "I howl, I growl, at every cloud." Lately my days encompass a rich variety of colors, tending more than I'd like toward the gray, brown, and black spectrum. The bright end of the rainbow is not so well represented, though I do have times where I feel quite fine, relatively energetic and able to deal with the little and big mishaps of life. And then there are the other times, when I feel like I'm barely holding it together, whatever *it* is.We writers hope to write about a specific experience an essay that teases out the details, gleans ... more
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Rebecca - - No responses4.I haven't spoken to my doctor yet, but I know that's good news. As Mikhail says, 4 is only 4 above 0, which is where I want to be as soon as possible. And it shows the hormones are definitely still decreasing from two weeks ago, when I was at 49.7.This time the anticipation of waiting for the number wasn't as bad as last time, but it's still mighty unpleasant. I try not to be anxious, but this afternoon waiting for the return call, I was. I did some yoga ... more
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Rebecca - - No responsesWe just got home last night from nearly three weeks away, and I'm on my way to get my blood drawn for my next hormone level check. I am nervous, but I figure better to get it over with fast rather than just worry. I did a good job of not over-worrying while in Colorado, except for when prompted by a few unexpected symptoms (which seem to be turning out to be fine).After I get the draw, I'm going to go for a swim at the Y and try to ... more
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Rebecca - - 2 responsesAt the beginning of last week, I got a call from the doctor who did my D&C. She had received my results from pathology. This was a surprise. I didn't know they had sent a tissue sample to pathology - they don't tell you if they do since it rarely turns out to be anything worrisome. But my results were abnormal. She told me that I had had a partial molar pregnancy. In a nutshell, this is a "genetic accident" that occurs when two sperm fertilize one egg. The result is ... more
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Rebecca - - No responsesToday I went back to the doctor in San Francisco for a follow-up appointment because I've been having some unusual symptoms after my D&C. Nothing too painful, and don't worry, I'm not going to get specific on the details. An ultrasound showed that I have a blood clot in my uterus. It's basically blood that, instead of passing out of the cervix, stayed inside the uterus and formed a clot. Even after visiting the doctor, I'm a bit unsure how worried I should be about this. It is something that ... more
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Rebecca - - No responsesIf you don't know this yet, I am a big fan of Sex and the City. I have all the DVDs from the series, and sometimes, when I am in need of comfort, I like to sit down and watch a few. Or maybe all of them, night after night, until I have gone through half the series. Someday I might tire of this, but these last few years it's like occasionally checking in with a group of girlfriends I haven't seen in a while.I mention this because recently I ... more
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Rebecca - - 2 responsesIt has been nearly six days since we found out that my pregnancy stopped progressing, and probably many weeks since it actually did stop. And now, after nearly a week of waiting, only fifteen hours before my scheduled D&C procedure, it appears that my body has finally figured it out. I'm hoping the bleeding will stay light enough that I can hold out until 8 a.m. tomorrow morning and not end up in the E.R. tonight. I believe I will be in bed the majority of that time. I've got ... more
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Rebecca - - 3 responsesThere was this big news I was going to share with you. The Big Project, the one that was taking energy away from the blog and my excuse for how little I've written here the last while. Remember that? Well, that news was that I was pregnant. But we got some sad news last week, and now I'm in this strange in-between place, somewhere between pregnant and not pregnant. Last Thursday, Mikhail and I went into San Francisco for a first-trimester screening test. It was an ultrasound that was to determine ... more
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it’s a boy!We are so thrilled to welcome our baby boy to our family! Emry Isaiah Brams Davis October 22, 2010 7 lbs 15 oz, 20.5 inches Emry is a Welsh name…
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the end of an eraToday my grandfather, Popa Al Alper, passed away. He was 101 and a half. June 2008 Back when he turned 99, many of you sent him postcards in the mail.…
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new story published!New story in print for the first time in a looonnng time I am happy to say that I had a story published in The Stonecoast Review, Issue 8. It’s… -
In DecemberIt is December now, and I notice that for the past several months I have maintained silence here on my blog about how I have continued to deal with the…
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a goalYesterday I spent a lot of time thinking and writing about what kinds of habits or practices I could put in place that will support my vision of myself as…
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All The Rest Is Just Icing30 weeks Warning: this post involves vomit. You might want to put down your sandwich. I might have mentioned before that I am not a puker. I have not vomited…
