Emry & me, Kauai, February 2015
We started getting the questions when Emry was two and a half: "when are you going to cut his hair?"
We cut Elan's hair when he was a little over two. He had beautiful blonde-brown hair, often scraggly but still beautiful. But it started bothering him when it got in his face, and he showed signs of wanting to have it shorter.
Emry, on the other hand, was always quite sure that he didn't want his hair cut. He wanted it long. He liked it long. Even when it got in his face. Even when he had to let me comb conditioner through it in the bathtub to beat back the dreadlocks. Even when people thought he was a girl, which happened nearly everyday, despite his insistence on wearing superhero clothing, his tendencies towards games that involve fighting and weapons, and his unflagging certainty that he is a boy.
Emry, January 2015
So I answered people by saying, "when he decides he wants to have shorter hair."
We make choices everyday for our children around their bodies. We decide when they'll take a bath, that they'll floss and brush their teeth ... more
Here's a post I wrote back in March 2013. I'm not sure why I never got around to posting it then. Perhaps it painted a picture of the sleep situation which made it look worse than it usually was by then, since I wrote this about six months after we finally managed to get Elan's combined sleep apnea and dust mite allergy better controlled. Colds still exacerbate his sleep apnea, and there are still nights when I'm up and down multiple times, though other nights when both of them ... more
Here it is, fall already.
I wish I felt happier about that turn of events.
I love the fall, but this year it has felt like it came upon me suddenly, and both my children have birthdays coming up, which means they're getting older, which means I feel all nostalgic and weepy, because I want them to stay little & adorable. And yet, I still hate it when they wake up too early in the morning and fuss at me. And of course I want them to grow up, healthy & strong. ... more
Emry and the dinos, April 2013
Last month, Emry turned two and a half.
This child melts me.
I have written reams in my head about Emry, but when it comes to actually putting words down, I tend to skip over most of it.
When Elan was a baby and then a toddler, I felt so immersed in the thick of it - the exhaustion, the cluelessness, the fuss, oh, the never-ending fuss. I had to write about it to release some of the frustration and to help me find humor in the ... more
The yard as backdrop to Emry's first birthday, October 2011
Sometimes I call it the patio, which is fairly accurate, and sometimes the garden, which is wishful thinking.
Mostly I call it the yard, which is what we called outdoor space where I grew up. In the desert, on one acre, in the '80s, we had a front and a back yard: lawns, a wooden deck, a playhouse made by my dad and grandpa with square, circle, rectangle and triangle windows, swings, a plywood slide which would leave splinters in your ... more
Batman and his trusty companion, February 2013
When I am gray-haired and my children are grown, and I am sitting by a fire reminscing, will I remember the way that Emry poops four times a day and always when we're running late leaving the house? And how Elan never does what I say until the 4th time I say it, with frustration? Or will I think about how they'd put their little hands in mine, how Elan would actually never want to be out of my presence in the house, ... more
Pantry after badly needed clean-up, February 2013
I have felt such a need to purge and clear out lately. What is this, some kind of early-early spring cleaning clock?
I think it's more that the build up over the 4 and a half years we've lived in this house has suddenly... well, built up. To the point where, when I peek into certain closets, I feel like an ant contemplating the scale of a skyscraper, and so I close the curtain on it and go about my business. No, it's not ... more
My little birdies in a nest, January 2013
I know part of being a human is having interactions, shall we say, with some of the less-desirable organisms that exist. Part of our role in this world is being a host to other creatures. I get that, biologically.
You probably think I'm talking about lice. I'm not. Though I live in fear of those little buggers every time I (infrequently) wash Elan's hair in the bath and spend 10 minutes combing through it, reassuring myself that the little flakes on the comb ... more
Tree against sky, December 2012
It is 6:30 p.m., witching hour in my house. I am frustrated. Tired of the whine fuss complain tattle cycle my kids are locked in. The text messages from my husband keep pushing back his arrival time 10 minutes by 10 minutes. I find myself saying things like You guys are driving me totally nuts and I can’t hear myself think, as I attempt to keep them occupied while making dinner and then to eat what I’ve made.
Finally I reach my limit, my wavering line ... more
Yes, they were watching TV, but it was still the sweetest moment. November 2012
One moment, they are snuggled so sweetly on the couch together.
The next moment, they're grabbing toys from each other, making each other cry.
One moment, Elan and I are playing chess, and he's telling me so earnestly about his day.
The next moment, he's screaming on the floor.
One moment, we're having a nice family dinner (I suppose it happens for at least a moment weekly).
The next moment, Emry is putting chicken in his water, dumping pasta on the ... more